If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
