For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
