Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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