And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Can't talk, ducks in the car
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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