Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
