what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
All the doctor said was why
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
