11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize