You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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