you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
