Apparently you make a good broom.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
