I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I need a burrito and a hug.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
