In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Everyone says I win the strip club
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
