Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
nutella sex= disaster
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
