Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
