She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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