I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize