He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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