Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
