He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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