Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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