I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Are my feet made of real feet?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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