The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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