so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
my being single is dangerous.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
