How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
