Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
