Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
