Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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