i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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