toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
lets start a swedish sibling band together
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
