You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
