I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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