if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
