So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
