Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
