Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
