Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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