exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
