i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
