i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
