Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So apparently I’m into choking now
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
