my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
