i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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