I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
