If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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