First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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