I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I FOUND THE LEGS
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
