I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
