Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you win again, gameday.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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