Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
