I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
