i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
