Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
