Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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