One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
